How to Raise a Child That Is Strong-Willed?

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Updated: August 7, 2024 | Published:

Strong-willed kids are like small balls of fire—creative and opinionated. They’re amazing but can be challenging. It’s like trying to herd cats at times! But fear not—you’re in good company. Millions of parents are on this wild ride with you.

What Makes a Child Strong-Willed?

Typical traits of strong-willed children:

  • Independent: They want to do things their way.
  • Stubborn: When they get an idea, you cannot change their mind.
  • Confident: They know what they are good at and believe in their skills.
  • Leaders: Leaders are born that way; they want to be the driver.

Although challenging to deal with, these are the foundations of incredible adults. Think of a determined kid who grows up to be a strong leader with no problem sticking their neck out for what they think is right. That’s pretty awesome, right?

Creating Parasocial Bonds With a Strong-Willed Child

Creating Parasocial Bonds With a Strong-Willed Child

The secret of raising a child with strong emotional control is to create an even closer relationship:

  • Time with Children: Play games, read, or talk.
  • Hearing Them Out: Give them an opportunity to vent their thoughts and emotions.
  • A Lot of Love and Affection: Hugs, kisses, and sweet words to encourage them.
  • Establishing Boundaries: Children, even the most strong-willed ones, need some limits.
  • Consistency: Your child must know what to expect of you.

Setting Boundaries and Limits

Setting rules may seem like bullying with the fractional control of a teen, but it is rudimentary:

  • Clarity and Specificity: Clearly state your expectations of the child.
  • Write Out Why: Let them know why the rules exist so they can understand.
  • The Main Point: Do it every time.
  • Natural Consequences: Let your child feel the repercussions of an action.
  • Say No to Power Battles.

Fostering Their Strengths

Determined kids are usually quite bright and creative. Let’s help them shine:

  • Encourage Their Interests: Support hobbies.
  • Acquaint Problem-Solving: Support them with solutions to challenges.
  • Boost Their Self-Confidence: Tell them you trust them.
  • Let Them Choose: Give kids options or choices. It makes them feel in charge of their own life.
  • Applaud Their Accomplishments: Tell them how proud you are.

Handling Tantrums and Meltdowns

Meltdowns are a natural aspect of childhood, though they can be particularly powerful with strong-willed youngsters. Here are some tips:

  • Keep Your Cool: Remember that getting a reaction is what the child wants.
  • Establish boundaries: Tell them that tantrums will not do.
  • Pretend Not to Notice: Sometimes, the best thing you can do about behavior like this is nothing.
  • Make Choices Available: Allow them to select from the choices.
  • Take a Break: If it becomes too overwhelming, then take a break.

Building Resilience

Strong-willed kids can be hard on themselves. Teach them resilience:

  • Teach About Failure: You can fail, and it’s okay not to be perfect. Guide them on how to learn the lesson.
  • Encourage Resilience: Be there for children and help them through when things are rough.
  • Develop Problem-Solving Skills: Encourage them to solve for themselves.
  • Praise Successes, but Also Efforts: Recognize the energy they have put into their work.
  • Model Resilience: Show your child what it looks like to recover from setbacks.

Help with Support

Strong-willed children are tough to parent. Don’t be afraid to ask for help:

  • Talk It Out with Other Parents: Reach out to parents who are going through the same.
  • Get Help: A therapist or counselor can provide support.
  • Enroll in a Support Group: You can relate to other parents going through the same phase.

Don’t forget that raising a strong-willed child is a marathon, not a sprint. You will go through highs and lows, but if you show patience, love, and understanding, then you have the potential to turn into a brilliant adult.

FAQs

Is My Child Strong-Willed?

Strong-willed children embody independence, determination, and a love of control. They can be set in their ways, highly opinionated, and stubborn. If this describes your child, they could be strong-willed.

What Do I Do If Discipline Doesn’t Work with the Strong-Willed Child?

Discipline a strong-willed child consistently. Then, look where you are weak if it is something that does not really sit well with you. Is it just a power struggle, or is there an issue that goes deeper? That could mean consulting a child psychologist or even working with a parenting coach.

Additionally, How Do I Handle Discipline to Help Foster Independence?

It’s a delicate balance. They need to know you love and trust them, but it is also important when they are older to make sure their independence doesn’t disappear. Provide options whenever you can, let them choose, and let them face the consequences of their actions. Positive reinforcement can also boost their self-esteem and promote good behavior.

Should I Give In to My Strong-Willed Child?

It is perfectly acceptable to sometimes give in and cave. In some ways, it can even facilitate a better parent-child relationship. Nevertheless, when enforcing rules, it is important to be consistent. If this happens to you, study why and develop a new plan.

Amy

About Amy T. Smith

Amy is the co-founder of AmyandRose and has been sharing her expertise on parenting, health, and lifestyle for several years. Based in Portland, she is a mother to two children—a teenager and a five-year-old—and has a Master's degree in Journalism from Columbia University.

Amy's writing offers practical advice and relatable stories to support parents through every stage, from pregnancy to the teenage years.

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This blog post is provided "as is" [and should not replace professional advice]. Although AI assists in content creation, all articles are thoroughly checked by a team of human editors. Read full disclaimer.


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